Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
