with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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