Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
