You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
