He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
