speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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