is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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