so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
