I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
whose ass print is on the piano?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
