Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
