When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
