Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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