In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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