i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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