i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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