Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
