I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I could make wine with my vomit
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she pinky promised me she was 18
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You're a waste of cheezeits
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize