These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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