She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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