We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
honey bunches of taint.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
