a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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