Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
