...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
