I can't breathe out the right side of my face
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
this is an emotional support booty call
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
