I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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