Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize