I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
