Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
