Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize