I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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