she woke up with a sticky ear
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
