this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
