I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ugly people sure do ruin things
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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