I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
