It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize