I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize