all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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