i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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