i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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