why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
