I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
