did you get engaged???
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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