alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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