I think my vagina is haunted
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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