She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
