So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
