Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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