the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
