Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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