You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
