You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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