I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
