Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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