Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
