I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
