when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm like, not good at living.
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