so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
