How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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