she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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