Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
