You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
did you just send me my own nude
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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