do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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