I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
