Your tits are I can't wait for
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
