Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
