in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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