what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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