what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
