She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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