my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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