i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
