is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
