My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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