Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
