she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
my poor anus
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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