i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i think i have two assholes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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