she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
