Your tits are I can't wait for
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
