well I can't set my house on fire every night
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
