dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
