Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
